Okay, So...
Posted on: Friday 03/03/2017 07:32:23
On Tuesday (I think--I am not even positive what month it is) Autumn felt like she had strep so we went to the doc. She did not, nor did she have the flu. Her doc had to gently tell her that the tumors in her throat are possibly causing her pain and that she needs to take her meds and not go to school during flu season. Autumn was bummed about that--she is totally on track to graduate and only has two AP classes which are both online anyway, and the rest of her school day she watches Shameless in the library. The perks of being a senior, right? Anyway, she wants to go to school when she feels up to it. The doc urged caution, explaining her body was compromised and etc.
So on the way home, I was trying to console her and lighten the shitty mood, while she was saying things like, "If I can't work or go to school then that makes me pathetic and it's embarrassing."
Because I am me, and inappropriate at almost all times, I said, "Look, Autumn. The flu is nothing to fuck around with when you are NOT sick with a rare cancer. It KILLS people. Lesser people, but still. This cancer is like a great white shark. Do you want to be remembered as the chick who got her ass kicked by a fucking shark, or the chick who cut her foot on a shell on her way to the beach, then got an infection, and died of sepsis? Which is cooler? If you MUST have your ass handed to you then at LEAST let it be the cancer and not the stupid flu. It's too lame. We'll have to lie and say you died of AIDS."
She was kind of crying in the back seat and she was quiet for a second, and I was thinking, "Great. I've broken her." Then she started chuckling. Then laughing. Then we were both laughing. It felt great. So she has agreed to stay home at least during flu season. :)
Going to MD Anderson on Sunday--appointment Monday morning. Fingers crossed, please. I love you guys.
So on the way home, I was trying to console her and lighten the shitty mood, while she was saying things like, "If I can't work or go to school then that makes me pathetic and it's embarrassing."
Because I am me, and inappropriate at almost all times, I said, "Look, Autumn. The flu is nothing to fuck around with when you are NOT sick with a rare cancer. It KILLS people. Lesser people, but still. This cancer is like a great white shark. Do you want to be remembered as the chick who got her ass kicked by a fucking shark, or the chick who cut her foot on a shell on her way to the beach, then got an infection, and died of sepsis? Which is cooler? If you MUST have your ass handed to you then at LEAST let it be the cancer and not the stupid flu. It's too lame. We'll have to lie and say you died of AIDS."
She was kind of crying in the back seat and she was quiet for a second, and I was thinking, "Great. I've broken her." Then she started chuckling. Then laughing. Then we were both laughing. It felt great. So she has agreed to stay home at least during flu season. :)
Going to MD Anderson on Sunday--appointment Monday morning. Fingers crossed, please. I love you guys.
lunamor Says:
I love that you two are fighting together with some humor. There will be moments for just you two, and that will strengthen you both.
Also, I'd totally go along with the AIDS story.
Nightbreed Says:
Humor is good medicine! Hugs and fingers crossed!
kittenheel Says:
And THAT is exactly why we love you so much. I'm happy you were able to get in to MD Anderson so quickly. /homepage
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
You could also go with, "Since she felt she had nothing to lose, she decided to start cooking meth since A, it looked easy on Breaking Bad, and B, she aced science class, but she's a shitty cook and there was an explosion."
And seriously, what the fuck is it with you and sharks? You're jealous that she got bitten by a metaphorical shark, and here you are, waiting for the call from Matt Lauer.
Damn it, she's a champion, and my hero, and I love you all, and please bring the pillow with you so that you have a piece of me there, thinking about you. /homepage
H3OsMama Says:
I love that you can find thehumor! Great analogy! MD Anderson will go well. Always thinking about you and praying for you! /homepage
kittenheel Says:
I like the idea of the Steve Pillow making the trek to Houston. They could take pictures of it on a bar stool, or being held by a harried healthcare professional.
Bulldog Says:
good luck in Houston....just stay clear of the MS-13 gang members and their pesky satanic ritual murders
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
That pillow should have its own Flat Stanley-like travelogue.
fakebrunette Says:
Seriously I was having a conversation about someone who got a paper cut and died . You packed and ready for Houston
snow Says:
People die from the most innocuous shit, trust me, I've seen it. You were right to rip her an AIDS asshole. lol... Best response ever!
And you totally should bring the Steve pillow to Houston! /homepage
Evil Fury Says:
My friend Carmen sent her a plush toy thyroid that will be perfect for the plane, but by God, I'm packing the Steve pillow. I will text pix to you, dude.
So, now she has to be enrolled in the home hospital program, which means a teacher comes over for an hour twice a week. Since all of her work is complete, I'm told they can watch tv if they want, but the teacher is there to help if she needs it. We have no choice but to have her in this because we've exceeded our home excuse notes for the year, and every kid has to be accounted for. Truancy court is the least of my worries. She HAS to be documented or she can't graduate. On the days she feels like going, which may be ALL of them--who knows--she can go. The teacher still has to come over by law. I'm relieved to finally be dotting some i's and crossing t's.
lunamor Says:
^ I am relieved too. Doing something - ANYTHING - gets you a little bit of control back, and it's so important when you feel like so much is out of your control.
In other and completely unrelated news, the new puppy loves to try and chew my hair (and sometimes gets it). Every time she does it, I think of all the times you told me your hair looked like cats had been sucking on it (a total lie, by the way). And now I have dog-suck-hair. I feel like my world has come full circle.
lermontov Says:
That is great that they get a teacher out to your place and that she can still graduate
Evil Fury Says:
Oh, she'd graduate. She only has two real classes and she's ahead in both. It's a matter of law, unfortunately. She has to either be IN school or a home health program or she is not ALLOWED to graduate. It's fucking stupid but whatever. That's Kentucky for you.
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
I kind of get why, but yeah it's a pain. Too bad it does nothing for the home schooled fundies who think the earth is 6000 years old.
knifeboy Says:
I've been away from here too much and had no idea. My very best to Autumn regarding her health and school. Sending good vibes in that direction, Susan./homepage
Simon Says:
If nothing else, at least you can both keep your sense of humour. And while I would be glad of the excuse to avoid the effort of graduating – ‘Simon: Did not graduate due to being dead’ – Autumn at least has preserved her dignity. /homepage
idoru Says:
My fingers are so fucking crossed even sharks are giving me a wide berth.
:)
soundecho Says:
I had to do the hospital program my senior year too. Since I was in an alternative program where I got my GED...and I'd already TAKEN the GED and was in the stupid limbo of simply waiting for my test schools and going to school for my elective courses and attendance, my assigned teacher helped me organize off my my mom and Mema's handwritten recipes into a binder. My mom still has that binger. On days that she's feeling better but not well enough for school maybe the home teacher can do a cool project with her? /homepage
CaptainMando Says:
Sending you guys lots of love and well-wishes and easy travel vibes for tomorrow!
Evil Fury Says:
The teacher only comes out for an hour twice a week. The principal said they can watch tv if they have no schoolwork to do but a cool organizational project sounds like a better use of time!
soundecho Says:
It was a productive use of time, and the teacher still got a bit of a break from their usual work day.
lostchyld Says:
Good Luck at MD Anderson! Sending prayers & hugs.
silverwraith Says:
I haven't been keeping up with KCL, but I know about Autumn and I just wanna say to A-Train: Kick its ass, seabass!