I have been assimilated
Posted on Thursday 08/11/2022 05:52:14
The British were once a proud race. They looked down their long, aristocratic noses at Americans and said things like ‘I say, that’s not on, what!’ when they learned of the types of behaviour commonly associated with Americans. But times have changed. We are gradually becoming indistinguishable from them. We are adopting their proclivities. We use their appliances. And finally I have become one. Yesterday I had an air conditioning unit installed. Or to be pedantic, an air-source heat pump which can either draw heat from the outside air and warm the house, or cool it by reversing the process.
I feel ashamed. But my therapist has told me I should expose my foibles so they may be examined and judged by ‘real’ Americans, who will reassure me by saying things like ‘This is not regarded as a criminal offence in the United States.’, or ‘Lots of people do it over here, and it is not regarded as a disgusting perversion.’ I shall, one day, be able to hold my head up proudly and say things like ‘I have an AC unit in my bedroom, and it is the source of great pleasure to me.’ without blushing and averting my gaze.
But judge for yourselves. I have included a couple of photographs for your examination and delectation.
kittenheel Says:
Even though I am an American, I refuse to judge someone who installs an AC unit, especially a cute little one like you have. Having suffered through decades of summers where both the temperature and humidity hover around 90 degrees for 4 months of the year, I understand the need for relief. And I promise not to tell anyone, so your secret is safe with me.
lunamor Says:
Oooh, it looks like you have a minisplit system! I kinda wish I had that (you can do temp control in each different room you have that wall unit). But I had the proper ductwork to just do mine through the central heating. I spent nearly $11k to do it, so I won't judge you at all. :)
Simon Says:
Yes, just a single split-unit rather than a multi-split, since I spend almost all my time in my room. In winter it’s the only room I heat, which means one of the Basement Girls has to prepare my breakfast at temperatures as low as 12°C (54°F). But I’m going to see how this thing works as a heat pump; according to the specs it should work out slightly cheaper than the gas central heating I use at the moment, despite electricity costing four times as much as gas per kWh.
It would have cost me about £750 over the counter, but professional installation is a requirement (because of the refrigerant), and that cost me £2200. I am already glad of it though. Money well spent.
lunamor Says:
Totally agree. I hate being too hot or too cold...I am pretty frugal person but I will definitely pay more to be at a comfortable temperature. My swamp cooler just wasn't doing the job when it got really hot or during monsoon season.
The basement girls can put on a sweater, or better yet, titillate you with their, er, tits. Because niprections!
Nightbreed Says:
Haha! Thank for being the one to say it, Jess. I was about to say almost exactly the same thing, but you know how judgemental people can be when a man makes jokes about his sex slaves, even if he is an English gentleman.
Simon Says:
And I’ll try logging in using the correct username next time.
lunamor Says:
Oh damn, lol. I thought Robynn was here and I was all excited. Wait, she's not merely an alter ego of yours, is she?!
Simon Says:
Not even I could be that creative! No, I was just checking that her password still worked (she gave it to me in the early days, when KCL was obstructive about users with smartphones), so I could send her the link – forgetting that I’d made the post public anyway. Ahem.
Simon Says:
Because I realise you’re all desperate to know, this is the model I have:
Fujitsu Fujitsu ASYG09KGTB
lunamor Says:
Hell, yeah! HVAC is sexy.
lermontov Says:
A very neat room, Simon, A+; although, it is perhaps a little Spartan for my taste. The globe without a lamp shade really gives it that bachelor feel. I have ducted aircon and heat (which I've never used). I moved up to the Gold Coast from Sydney last year, and one needs it up here in Summer.
Simon Says:
I call it minimalist, as that sounds less masochistic than Spartan, but you’re right. As to the globe lacking a lamp shade, I think I inherited that from my father. He was one for fluorescent tubes in most rooms because of their (then) high efficiency. This one is a 15W LED with an opalescent globe which scatters the light well to give a more diffuse light that’s useful for photographs or for drawing; a lamp shade gives a cosy feel, but doesn’t bounce the light from the ceiling and walls so much.
kittenheel Says:
THey make LED bulbs in nice shapes, like bigger globes.
Simon Says:
I shall have to take a look! All that concerned me at the time I bought this was getting one that was the right colour temperature and which was reliable. The early ones tended not to last very long.
lunamor Says:
I love the look of that room...white space is my happy place. I have so much shit everywhere, even though I do have a maximum level of chaos I'm willing to endure in any given room before I just start throwing things in a cabinet or, better yet, the trash. You probably saw my horribly cluttered kitchen counter on the FB page photo of David in his apron. I'd like to blame the clutter on the people and pets I live with (David is the worst) but it's only partly their fault. I don't really like a bunch of decorative things that have zero usefulness; wall art or photos are my one exception to this.
Simon Says:
This is the great thing about having a large house to oneself. It costs more in local tax because of its size and the garden (£1500 a year – a quarter of my six grand a year invalidity benefit), but it’s a blessing to someone with social phobia, and of course it means that I can have a room solely for all my tools, cans of paint, solvents, electrical stuff such as cabling, plumbing bits and pieces etc. So the neatness is somewhat illusory!
lunamor Says:
Show us your junk room, Simon. If you loved us, you would. Come on!!!
kittenheel Says:
I agree. And don't act like you don't have one. We all have at least a closet that looks like it should have junkyard dogs guarding it.
Easy Sleeper Says:
For a second I thought you had an Xbox there. The one S variety
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
I bet that thing comes in handy the 2-3 days you need to run it.
How are we going to reconcile HVAC with our image of little English orphans, wrapped up against miserable cold weather, begging for spare pence and quids.
Simon Says:
Matt: You’re correct. In fact it’s an Xbox One S sitting on top of a PlayStation 4 Slim. There are always those console exclusives, which, as a PC gamer, are a pain in the arse. But some are just too good to miss.
Steve: Yeah, that’s why I’ve not bought one for all this time. I had to weigh it up against my conscience – and my Spartan standard of living. But my main hope is that it will serve as a heat pump during the winter months and make a saving on my gas central heating bills.
Rockboy Says:
I’m so proud of you. Indeed I believe with the 100° temps you would bake in that house without it. Those wildfires in France are crazy.
Simon Says:
Luckily the size of the house, and its being fairly new (meaning LOTS of insulation) means that it doesn’t suffer to the same extent that a smaller house with thinner walls would, but yes, it has been getting pretty hot in the recent heatwave.
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
All of those thatch-roofed houses in Britain must be wild with this weather.
Simon Says:
The roof makes damned good insulation, that’s for sure. Whether the rest of the building is good at keeping the heat out is another matter.