The Silent Syndrome
Posted on: Monday 10/03/2022 09:45:02
Y'all, I want to have a telethon to raise money for fellow sufferers, but I fear it would go over about as well as the Bluths' charity event.
Last weekend I was desperately, insatiably horny. Like, I've never been so physically turned on in my entire life and it wasn't even sexual. I wasn't really thinking about sex outside of being excited for him to come home. Everything was super sensitive and just the seam on my shorts was doing it for me. Almost to completion.
I had to rub one out several times before leaving but still was almost shaky with desire by the time I got him in the car and drug him to the first Hampton we saw.
I had warned him that this was some next level shit and being the hero he is was prepared and willing to handle the situation. We had sex five times and it wasn't enough. People always say they could have sex all night, but no one really means it. Not every second. But there was no relief with orgasm, and in fact orgasms just intensified my arousal.
By Sunday night I was literally in tears and miserable. The next day I googled the symptoms and discovered I suffered from Persistent Genital Arousal Syndrome.
It will come as no surprise that this condition is extremely rare, and little is known about it because women aren't dying to discuss it with their doctor. I certainly didn't want to get splayed out in stirrups for Dr. Awesome to examine my vag. Or more specifically, my clit. The article I read said that it could last days or weeks, and the very thought made me desperate to bargain for no more orgasms ever in exchange for relief. It lasted until Tuesday afternoon, then shit went back to normal, more or less.
So, I had THAT going for me.
So what's new with you clowns?
kittenheel Says:
They need a new name for it. PGAS isn't a great abbreviation.
kittenheel Says:
Spectacularly Horny As All Getout Syndrome (SHAAGS) maybe.
Evil Fury Says:
I like it. It definitely is appropriate and true.
lermontov Says:
I'm glad to hear that you and Matt managed your way through that affliction!
I had about a week in Boston last week - enjoyed the lobster rolls and local tail. I did wave to you all on the flight home. Off to New Zealand tomorrow and then back home on the weekend before a few weeks in Europe next month.
Good to see you back - stay well!
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
Congratulations you now know how every 14 year old boy feels like all the time. Especially in math class when a question has to be answered on the whiteboard.
And can we all agree that “lobster roll” is a euphemism for penis?
lunamor Says:
I am sorry I wasn't more help during your time of tribulation, but, it's high time you learn just how useless I can be.
Evil Fury Says:
Lobster roll is a euphemism for vagina. You're out of your mind. Nice to see some things never change.
Lerm, glad to see you! I hate that you were in the states and not close to us. Booooo!
Evil Fury Says:
Steve, this was wayyyyy beyond 14 year old boys. Did you cry from pain and unrelenting frustration? NO. You at least enjoyed SOME relief after you shot your little sad pubescent load. Especially after four or five times. LOL
kittenheel Says:
I THOUGHT that was Lerm waving out the airplane window! It's a little hard to delineate facial features from 20,000 feet away, but there was definitely a vibe. Also, what kind of fundraiser are we doing for Persistent Genital Arousal Syndrome research? Bake sale? Dance marathon? Ice bucket challenge?
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
Nothing hurts more than having a boner so intense you can hang a load of laundry from it and then being asked to demonstrate FOIL or PEMDAS.
Evil Fury Says:
I just read one of Rob Lowe's autobiographies (it's surprisingly good) and he pretended to play the clarinet at a benefit for Bill Clinton, a la St. Elmo's Fire. I think it should be that. Something tasteful.
Rockboy Says:
maybe wear looser shorts? that's all I got for you but I wish that shit was contagious. I would ask for a bottle of your spit and put an atomizer on it.
Easy Sleeper Says:
At first it was a lot of fun. At first.
lunamor Says:
"And then, I didn't think people had strokes at my age, but foxes and toothpaste running greenbelts ladders!"
Evil Fury Says:
What in the holy hell are you babbling about?!?
Evil Fury Says:
Rock, it didn't matter what I was wearing. Matt likes this pair of shorts in particular but for any kind of relief I had to lay on top of blankets with my legs completely spread so that the only thing touching me was air. I had to do deep breathing and meditation. It was absolutely insane. I mean, on the plus side I was ready and beyond willing every single second. Poor Matt did his part until he was just raw and his hands and mouth were sore. Lol. Brutal shit, for sure. I hope all you ladies experience it BRIEFLY and get your socks rocked about 20 times, and then it goes away. My vag was totally battered by Monday. Had I been in a car wreck or in a coma, docs would definitely have brought in a rape kit. It was fun at first, though!
lunamor Says:
You gave Matt a stroke, and now he doesn't make sense. That was a direct quote from Matt. I'm sure of it.
Evil Fury Says:
Where the hell did he say that? Toothpaste fox strokes craziness?
lunamor Says:
It was made up. I was making a joke that you sexed him so much/so hard that it gave him a stroke, and that's what came out when he tried to talk. None of it actually happened. *throws hands up in despair*
Evil Fury Says:
Oh, haha. Sorry, I had just read Mando's post and I'm at full red now.
lunamor Says:
I'm gonna blame it on the lack of LHOTP (that's Little House on the Prairie).
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
I fully understood what Jess was getting at. Just for the record.
Evil Fury Says:
Shut up, Steve.
lunamor Says:
THERE IT IS!!! It’s been way too long. *happy sigh*
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
They should put that phrase on a goddamn t shirt.
Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
Jess, did me agreeing with you give you a case of the SHAAGS?
lunamor Says:
They really should put it on a tshirt. *snicker*
Steve, I wish. Or not...shit sounds more frustrating than a zit in your nose crease, or a toe strangled in a sock hole.