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OMFG! This stuff just doesn't get easier does it?

Posted on: Monday 02/04/2013 07:16:40

Hello all.  Are any of you surprised that I still can't figure this shit out?  This stuff is hard!  I click and click and all I do is go around and around. Finally, I end up here and I can type and then I also have to pray that it shows up as a blog.  Or I should pray that it doesn't...if I didn't look like an idiot before, I certainly do now.

Ok, what to talk about?  Perhaps since I am new, I should give a bit of background (milk the sympathy points so you guys don't evict me yet).  I am # 7 of 8 twin being #8. I have five brothers and two sisters.  Up until three years ago, I was the primary caregiver for my Mom...then she had a subdural hematoma, followed by a craniotomy, several episodes of seizures and then died rather unexpectedly from Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML).  We found out about the AML when they asked how long we thought we'd keep her on life saving measures...not long...she didn't want it, we just to get all 8 of us here.  We did, she died..we cried.  Like I said, it's been three think I would have moved on by now, right?  No...only just beginning to.  Until then, I had made her best friend, my parent, my roommate and as she got older, my Benjamin Buttons-child, growing younger and more childlike with age.  When she died, I lost so many relationships at once.  So truthfully...I don't lie...when I wrote my therapist would be proud, if not suspect, that I've made friends, I was speaking the truth.  I was also laughing at myself because I do believe that Laughter will fix just about anything.  Typically I could acheive this by dancing to the Law and Order theme song in front of my mirror.  Depression is a bad thing though...even that didn't seem funny.  However, it's been enough time, and with help, I laugh a lot more now.  I owe a huge thanks to Evil Fury because she just got my FB posts....STILL!  BITCH!  And then, she brought this wonderful bunch of cohorts who annihilated me with posts and questions to which I had no idea I was responding about.  It's been two days since all of that and I am still audibly laughing...walking around like a dufus with a smile on my face.  I go to the computer...Refresh, refresh, refresh.

I promise I will chill guys...I know I am a dork...seriously.  I am scientist and without facts, I have a hard time interpreting anything including intepersonal relationships...but I'm working on it.  Also, I'm sure everyone out there is dysfunctional and totally whack about SOMETHING.  They're probably just not announcing it like I do.  Oh well...for me it is cathartic.  Bear with me, I think I'm funny and if not, at least I'm persistent.  More dysfunction to follow....seriously with a 8 kidded family and now I have 7 dogs, tell me there's not something whack about that?

Dog pound - where I'm at -